Sunday, October 30, 2011

Fictional Stories of Real People

Sascha here is a Russian immigrant. Her father is ex-KGB and has only one arm. She studies political science in the hopes of one day reaching an office where she can possibly gain proximity to -- and thereby exact revenge upon -- the man who severed her father's arm: Joseph Biden.

Amelie here has successfully hacked into the NORAD missile system five times. On two separate occasions she has remotely launched experimental warheads over New Mexico. Amelie is the leading cause of UFO sightings in the United States. The government disavows any knowledge of her existence.

Fenwick has taken guff for the past 23 years over his foppish name. A lifetime of verbal abuse has left him alternately sheepish and charming and psychotically violent. During those times, he locks himself in his room and tells his friends he is a werewolf.

Edward is known as "Radical Edward" in his Computer Sciences study group. Since he is not a fan of Japanese animation (ironically, since he's the only Japanese in the class) he has no idea that "Radical Edward" is a character from a popular anime show. The character is also a girl.

Boston has seen more in his lifetime than most kids will see in their lives, all combined together "like a big ball of soap flakes" as he put it. In his time, he has punched the following things: fourteen kids, a bear, two naked women who had pulled guns on him, a werewolf, a brick wall, many hippies, an experimental warhead, and Joe Biden.

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