New Rules

Full body scanners: bad news for terrorists. Good news for nudists. Bad news for nudist terrorists?

In the Cooler

Well, the new fall postcards have just arrived. Unlike some of my other postcards, which were based in fantasy lands and had no connection to anything anyone would really do or say in the real world, this one is based on true events that occurred in Sheepshank prison in 1952.

Butterball was a model prisoner, and oversaw the prison library during his stay. He befriended a young human child, whom he named Cluck-wal-warl, and raised from an infant. After being pardoned by the President, Butterball drifted aimlessly before finally committing suicide by jumping in front of a gravy train.

The turkey pictured here was incarcerated for double homicide. As seen by his tattoo, he also killed a man while in prison. He is due to be executed on the last Thursday in November.

Hanging on the wall is the November "Winged Babes" calendar. The model this month is the Pink Flamingo. The calendar also hides a hole the turkey has been carving out with his beak after hours. Tomorrow he plans to penetrate the final layer of plaster and jump to freedom by landing on the guard's head and posing as an extravagant hat.

This guard is also actually the cousin of the other red-faced portly guy on my Spring postcard, who takes his lawncare very seriously.
See the family resemblance?

Living Like a Liberal

Hey, look! This little half-page ditty appears in the current issue of The Utne Reader, which features, besides me, Nelson Mandela, on the cover. There appear in the magazine two other illustrations by me for the same article, a witty jaunt by a conservative writer into the morally upright and logistically difficult world of being a liberal. I won't show them because, this being a nationally published magazine, there is no reason you can't pick up a copy for yourself and write the editors on how you thought my illustrations were the selling point, which, if you are reading this, they would be.

This video accurately portrays my current feelings on the subject of being published by Utne.

Tee for Two

The new Bethesda magazine is out, which means the new "Domestic Disturbances" is in, which means my illustration once more graces the final page.

New sketch

Having eschewed with my previous sketch due to technical difficulties, I present this one, which I should have finished and sent out before Thanksgiving. I hope. Perhaps in the final, it will be clear that the turkey is playing a harmonica and his November swimsuit calendar features a flamingo.

The Political Spectrum

Welcome to the Political Spectrum, a work in progress. I made it when it occurred to me that there were more dimensions to political ideology than mere conservatism and liberalism. In an effort to map this out, I decided adding the spectrum of radicalism versus conventionalism, which measures how much a person's ideas would change the status quo.

You'll notice that as one becomes more radical, the harder it is to identify them as either liberal or conservative. For example, Joseph Stalin's dictatorial rule can hardly be called liberal, however, he rose in power under a leftist Communist political system. Stalin's placement on the liberal side of the board shows tells us more about the rhetoric of this administration than about his policies. I also had to view everyone through the lens of history, which is why Ronald Reagan now looks like a conventionalist. This was harder to do than it looks.

As I put names in, I also noticed a V-shaped pattern appear. Perhaps because it's hard to be a radical moderate, just as it's hard to hold strong political views if you think everything is fine. Most of the American population, I believe, lies in a soft triangle between John Stewart, George Bush, and Barack Obama.

Of course, this is very far from done. This is the work of one man, and in order to fine-tune it, I need input. Let me know where you think people on the chart should be. Let me know where you think other figures from history, media, or politics should be. Let me know where you should be.

Let's spread the world. The more nuanced our understanding of the Political Spectrum, the smarter this country becomes.

Fall cards

Well, okay. I'm now working on my fall promotional postcard. I've gotten some sketches done too. Shame I got started so late, or I could do something more seasonal. I wanted to draw Halloween monsters.