Acoustic Porn

The guitar is a very ...shapely instrument.

Look at the musicians' faces when they play.  They know what they're doing, on some level.

Trumpet, Part Deux

Yes! After a seven-month absence, I am back on the instrument kick. I'll re-do a few pieces, put them in a rough book, and send it to publishers, who will be so stunned by my brilliance, they will parade me around town in a gold sedan and shower me with confetti and strudel.

Qin The End...

The Qin is an ancient Chinese instrument that has created the music for many a slow, quiet moment in Kung-fu movies. This old man is taken directly from the Zhang Yimou movie Hero.

Happy New Year.

P.Hos out.

Marac' the House

The idea for maracas (also known as rumba sticks and shac-shacs) started out as a rainstick, until I realized that very few people actually use rainsticks to play music. But both rainsticks and maracas remind of the sound a TV makes when it's on the fritz. So here you have it: Latin American TV static, in convenient idiophone form.

Baby got Bagpipes

Bagpipes are unique in the musical canon. They don't fit into any other category. They aren't woodwinds, or reeded instruments, or brass, or percussion, or strings. They fit into the "Bagpipe" category. They are also plural, like pants. You have to look hard to find someone playing a single bagpipe.

Manana: Maraca

Humor in Jugular Vein

Don't knock the jug. There aren't very many instruments that a beginner can pick up and sound almost as good as a virtuoso. Any kid with a Coke bottle can do it.

Tomorrow: Baby got Bagpipe

Two's Timpani, Three's a Crowd

Yes, I'm sure there are many great and elaborate classical timpani pieces, but so help me, the one I think of first is "George of the Jungle".

Tomorrow: Humor in a Jugular Vein

The Queen of Harps

I'll admit this was one of the funner pieces to do.

Law of the Jingle

Maybe it's a cultural thing, but jingle bells just sound like snow and Christmas. Santa wouldn't be as jolly if his coming was heralded by flugelhorns, for example.

Tomorrow: Harpies

100% Organic

In all those kids' movies from the 90s that I sort of liked, the bad guy played an organ. I think in the Beauty and the Beast sequel, the bad guy WAS an organ. I, not being a very creative type, decided that the pipe organ was the piano's grumpy, scrooge-like uncle, and that organs everywhere never smile.

"Echo One to Bass!"

An actual upright bass is about 6 1/2 feet tall. This guy is 6 1/2 feet wide, and accordingly, weighs about 1000 pounds. He's got a deeper voice than Barry White, and makes dents in the sidewalk when he goes for a stroll.

Tomorrow: Why can't skeletons play music in church?

Try Harder, Triangle

When I took band in middle school (I played clarinet, just like Squidward) the director happened to go off on one occasion about the Juilliard School of Performng Arts. According to him, one could major in triangle, and become so proficient one could play an entire scale of notes on this bent little piece of metal. We were all duly impressed, and I quit band shortly after.

Tomorrow: Bass Camp

Look over theremin!

The theremin (also known as that sci-fi wailing sound from old "Bug-Eyed Monsters" movies and "Good Vibrations" by the Beach Boys) sounds exactly like what I imagine that fellow from Edward Munch's "The Scream" sounds like.

Peace and Harmonica

The harmonica seems to be one of those instruments a woodland critter would play, if they had a sense of melody, since you don't really need thumbs to work it.

Tomorrow: Look over theremin!

I heard "Under the Sea" played on a marimba on Youtube, and it really just felt right. The marimba has this soothing, bouncy bonk that just sounds sort of aquatic.

Didgeridoo, where are you?

As soon as I had finished this, I realized it needed desperately to be on a t-shirt. Which I haven't done yet. But I think that says more about the completely psychedelic sound that the didgeridoo makes than my own drawing skills.

Tomorrow: Marimba maid

Flight of the V

More poster-ization here. I have to give props to guys like Jamie Hewlett and Yasuhiro Nightow on this one. Also Sid Vicious.

Tomorrow: Didgeridoo, where are you?

King of the Bongo

Here I am, going for an homage to one of my personal favorite styles, the sixties cartoon screen print. All the designs were shaped like exotic fruits, and exotica lounge music ruled the scene. In his more devilish moments, I'll bet Don Draper listened to bongo music.

P.S. Catch the Manu Chau reference in the title?

Tomorrow: Flight of the V

Tambourine (Wo)man

Traditionally, the tambourine is a woman's instrument. Even in ethnic bands, where every other instrument is played by a man, if they have a tambourine, it'll be played by a woman. And she will be a gypsy.

Tomorrow: Bongo baby

Donald Trumpet

A version of this guy appeared on my first promotional mailer, along with a curmudgeonly pianist and a bosomy cellist. You know what happened to the pianist. I still have plans for the cellist.

Tomorrow: Wham, bam, thank you tam(bourine)!